I know I haven't been on in quite some time. So much has changed since my last blog I don't even know where I should begin. I'll just start by saying everyone is fine and healthy. So thats a good thing right?
Last time I posted I believe was the beginning of this year way before my life turned upside down. I started this year with two jobs. One working crazy hours leaving me with literally no sleep for 3 days straight. The other didn't make much but anything extra was worth it. By May I couldn't handle the lack of sleep anymore. Izzy wasn't sleeping well and it was just plain hard! So I quit the one job leaving me with a barely supportive job but it was something. Of course my luck is not amazing as 2 weeks after my last day at the job i quit the restaurant I worked at closed its doors with no notice! Really? my luck sucks. I tried hard to find a job even put Izzy in daycare to open up my availability....nothing! So I took this opportunity to go back to school. Which is what I have wanted to do for some time now. School is great! I'm holding down straight A's and haven't missed a day yet! :-) Enough with the small talk.....
I know I mentioned seeking child support from Izzy's father before well he turned around and through custody papers at me. That hurt. After disappearing from our lives he wants custody?? that was awhile ago and after two mediations he gets supervised visits with me present. Three times a week! I am still learning to cope with this. We have good days and bad. She knows who he is now. So help me if he hurts her though. Even on the days that we get along great, how do I forget the pain he has already put me through? He missed the first 18 months of her life! It just hurts. Anyways, he has been around since July now so 4 months. I am trying to learn how to be friends with him for her sake. Be the bigger person.
What else can I say....it's November and I am still jobless....I did just start babysitting so that will be a little bit of money coming in but nothing amazing! But it is starting to be VERY stressful! And depressing....to the point I dont do much beside just sit around if Izzy is at school. cant get myself to have much of an appetite either. I need to get out of this house. Hopefully I can talk my mom into letting me out even if its just for a little bit. I need a break. When did life get so difficult? Don't get me wrong I love where I am because if Izzy wasn't in my life I would still be VERY lost! She is one amazing little girl. I can't believe she will be 2 soon!!
I know I rambled alot but whatever. Hopefully I will be able to write more sometime soon! for now I have to go clean the house for my mother!