Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Just a Ramble....

        What a month it has been. Lot of ups and downs, more downs then anything. I am still dealing with the death of my friend. Just attended his Celebration of Life on Sunday. Losing him finally sunk in then. He has been gone a month but it just sunk in this week and it hurts bad. His service was so nice! It made me re-think the traditional funeral service. I believe i would like that as well for myself. It really just bothers me that bad things happen to such amazing people!

        Change of subject before the tears come again. We have our court date set for child support. Finally so i can get this over with. There are many times i wish I never filed! I should have just struggled through like I have been doing. But thats not fair to her. She deserves more. So Im sucking it up and moving forward with this. I hope I am making the right choice. ::sigh::

         Well Izzy is amazing! She is just such a character lately. always making me laugh! She teething badly at the moment and sleep is well NOT there. Im exhausted! with not sleeping due to work and now thanks to teeth coming in im just at my limits lately. I wish i could take a vacation but I cant afford to :(

         Motherhood is such a challenge. A good one but nonetheless a challenge! I feel like i have aged like 20years by just having her. lol. She is just the best though. She makes life worth living! When i am at my lowest points(which lately has been ALOT) she just has a way to make me smile and remember how blessed I am to have her!

playtime at the park! :)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Just Another Day....

So I am sitting at my computer looking back on all of the pictures of my darling Izzy when she was born up until today. Ahh I can't believe how much she has changed and how far she has come! She amazes me everyday. Her new word is "fish" (we have 2 tanks full of fish!). She loves to come tickle you when you don't expect it. Shes climbing on EVERYTHING! She has the highest pitch scream I have ever heard. There is not one thing about her that I do not love more than anything in this world. 

I wish there was more that I could do for her. Like get us our own house. Give her the world. Keep her from any pain this world could ever throw at her. I am certain one day we will be on our own. I know it will be hard to keep her from pain. She already has to go through the pain of losing a father. Even if she never had him around, even if he wasn't the best choice of fathers. He was her father. She will be okay. I have to believe I am doing my best. She is my whole heart. What I don't understand is how some one could walk away from her. What did she do? I keep telling myself she had nothing to do with his immaturity in the matter. And I know she didn't. She deserves someone who will love her. One day...

Nothing else is really new with us... Same stuff everyday. I am so thankfull for this sweet little girl I have been blessed with. She has made life worth living.

My sweetie and me on Christmas Day 2010 :)